Life

This semester is almost over. Pas few months were horrible. Especially these past few weeks. I almost lost my grip but I continued working hard until the end. I almost failed Alhamdulillah, I didn't. I'm very happy. What makes me happier is that this means that i am one step closer to my goal. 

Nahh.. Not really to become an architect. That's a job.

But my goal is to build a family. I can't wait for that. I think i have really found the one. 

Always as i sat down in a corner watching him walked in towards me i'd say to myself. That's him. That's him. The guy i'd spend the rest of my life with. Then my imagination would expand. 

There i would see his panic faces watching me giving birth. Then i would see his face having his first look at our baby. Then moving forward i would see the faces of my guy and my little baby sleeping side by side and those images already seems like a miracle to me. 

And yeah then i'd snapped back to reality. Well yeah forgive me i'm a Leo. Love has always been my priority in life. But then my Libra men had unintentionally set an example of a different perspective in life. 

Life can't be just about us. I mean.. Like my life as an architecture student. It is reaaallly a hectic one. Not many people understand how our lives are. It's like time is never enough. It can be devastating. 

I used to get lost in that. Selfishly made it a very important matter in my life. But getting to know my Libra man, i started to change a bit.

Whenever i got some time to spend for my friends, for my family, for my loved ones, i would. That's how life is. You can't spend all your time for yourself and expect people to spend their time for you. You won't be at this level without the helps from others. I won't get all this if not because of my parents. So it is selfish and rude not to spare some times for my parents just because i am too busy with works. I must not make it a habit. Yeah that can be challenging. Sometimes time tu laa ada submission and all. Sometimes things happened that you couldn't even explained to your lecturers. Because it sounded so fake even though it was true. But God knows. Must always remember that. God knows what happened. God knows what we have been through. God knows how hard we put effort on something. And God is fair. InsyaAllah, some time you have lost now for good intention, will be paid. So far yup. Alhamdulillah.. 

And what actually taught me to think that way is my Libra man. He always find time to spend for various circles of people in his life. Not just time. Energy, money, anything he could. It's like he knows well how to value everyone around him. It's like he lives for everyone. Even though at times i felt like i have to compete for some of his time, but i am learning to adapt. Because that is the goodness in him. 

Well i am not saying this because he is my lover. It's just that i admire him as a person. And i want to be one like that. 

Well apa gunanya hidup ini kalau tak membawa kebahagiaan kepada org lain hanya mengharapkan kebahagiaan sendiri semata mata bukan? 

And yeah paling penting harus lah berusaha memberi kebahagiaan kepada ibu bapa yg sgt bersusah payah membesarkan kita. Aamiinn

Well that was quite long. 

I should sleep now.